Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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