its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
