Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
