I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
