Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
