she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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