i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
