They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
