so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize