One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
