So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need a beard to bite.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize