I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tell her she can't have a vagina
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
