No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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