So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
