I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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