You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
