rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
