a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
