i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
someone owes me an orgasm
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
