Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
