I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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