Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
