I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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