is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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