Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
