You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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