its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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