who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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