I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize