just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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