so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
