She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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