he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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