She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You ruined the universe
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
