are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
