He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
