was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
