Porn is love you can see.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
