i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Randomize
