the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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