There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
