last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
