have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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