I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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