Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
