Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
