I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
