I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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