Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
