YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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