Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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