Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
