I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
