Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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