And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
