So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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