glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
