used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
