it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
