highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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