laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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