i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
