I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
